In this article we'll consider:
Descriptive writing as 'the boring part'
Quality over quantity
Implication over explanation
Comparative imagery
Building atmosphere and mood
Consistent style and voice
Subtlety
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Let's start with a confession. As a kid, I hoovered up books every spare moment I had. By my mid-teens, the options in my local village library were thinning; I'd read just about everything they stocked. But what still kept me returning in the hope of more was a compulsion to learn - about people and the world, places I'd never been, circumstances far outside my own existence - as well as a certainty that within the pages I'd find, again and again, what I was really looking for.
Connection, at a deep level. However...
In my haste to get to the goods, so to speak - the dialogue, the conflict, the action - I sometimes skipped over the descriptions. When I told a friend this at the time, expecting solidarity and a similar confession, I was instead laughed at and inwardly hung my head in embarrassment (whilst also inwardly scowling; I was moody as well as shy).
I'm pleased to say, thirty years on and there's far less skipping of descriptions these days. A literature degree and an editing profession don't allow for it. But I'm still convinced I'm not the only one guilty of my younger self's crime, and would be willing to bet there are just as many writers as readers who would happily bypass the descriptive bits in their work, given the chance.
So how, then, can you craft descriptions that are vivid, engaging, and purposeful, whilst at the same time fun to write?
Let’s get descriptive...
1. Quality over quantity
A common mistake is to overload the reader with every possible detail or to think description needs to be complex, and this can be as strenuous to read as it is to write. Descriptive doesn't have to mean blocks of dense text - it's all about narrowing it down to what's needed in that moment. So, instead, focus on the most significant elements you wish to convey.
You might choose details that: compound the mood, reveal character traits, summarize a conversation, either slow or quicken the pace, or advance the plot.
For example, describing a character's office as "a clutter of old maps and dusty books" can subtly suggest a love for adventure and knowledge. Or, describing a city's streets as "like pulsing veins keeping the dreadful dogged creature alive" implies disdain for urban life.
Example: Lord of the Flies by William Golding
At last Ralph ceased to blow and sat there, the conch trailing from one hand, his head bowed on his knees. As the echoes died away so did the laughter, and there was silence.
This extract is arranged simply, and yet in its simplicity it manages to reveal something about Ralph (dejected), the mood (despondent), and the situation (dire/hopeless/fearful); the effect of which is powerful.
2. Implication over explanation
Or more commonly known as show, don't tell. Instead of telling the reader what they're "seeing", use descriptive language to show them. This is not only more engaging to read, but has the added benefit of allowing the reader to draw their own conclusions about what's unfolding before them.
For example, instead of saying "Lily was nervous", you could describe her actions: "Lily's fingers drummed a rapid, tuneless rhythm on the tabletop."
These observations can also be filtered through the eyes of your characters. How they perceive the world - not just their worldviews, but what they take notice of and what they don't - reveals a great deal about who they are. If a character walks into a packed concert hall, is their attention drawn to the amount of people and how noisy it is and where they'll sit (suggesting anxiety or discomfort), or to the orchestra setting up on stage and the vibrant lighting and decorative high ceilings and architecture (suggesting excitement)?
The following example is a first-person narrative, which puts us in close proximity to the protagonist-narrator, Esther Greenwood; and yet, how she really feels in this descriptive paragraph is not so much articulated as implied.
Example: The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
I shut my eyes, and the music broke over me like a rainstorm. Marco's leg slid forward against mine and my leg slid back and I seemed to be riveted to him, limb for limb, moving as he moved, without any will or knowledge of my own, and after a while I thought, 'It doesn't take two to dance, it only takes one,' and I let myself blow and bend like a tree in the wind.
Everything about this description points to a lack of agency - from the rainstorm that breaks over Esther, to the manner in which Marco moves her around like a rag doll - and perhaps it's for this reason she chooses to show the moment rather than directly explain her compliance. Following this dance Marco becomes violent and, after another hesitant moment of compliance, Esther at last fights back and protects herself.
3. Comparative imagery
Metaphors and similes can create strong, memorable images. For example, describing a city skyline as "a jagged row of teeth" evokes a stark, perhaps menacing image, whereas "a crown of sparkling jewels" suggests something more majestic.
Be mindful, though, of overused comparisons and clichés (usually the first that come to mind). It's the fresh, unique metaphors that will make your writing stand out, blending with the tone of the narrative to immerse the reader deeper into the scene.
Here is where you get to play with words and language, like a kid in a sand pit, until you hit the epitome of descriptive writing, which is to phrase the familiar in a way that's original and thought-provoking.
Example: Enlightenment by Sarah Perry
So on the night of Halloween I crept out of the house and set off for Lowlands Park. There was no colour in the world that night, only a kind of shining grey; and when I came to Lowlands House it seemed to me it was sinking in the grass, and that the boards on the windows were like the coins they put on the eyes of the dead.
Lowlands House is thought to be haunted, and here the narrator is remembering a night he was meant to meet with friends there. In this example I've highlighted the simile in bold, but you'll notice the mood building from the start, with the purposeful word choice - Halloween, crept, no colour in the world that night, a kind of shining grey (ghostly?), sinking.
As author Sarah Perry shows here, a strong simile or metaphor produces an instant clear image in the reader's mind. So simple yet so good!
4. Building atmosphere and mood
As we've seen above, your word choice sets the tone of a scene. Describing a forest as "shadowy and still, the air stifled with the scent of pine" creates a different mood than "a sun-dappled grove, filled with the lively chatter of birds." So as you're writing your descriptive passages, consider the reaction you hope readers will have as they read it.
Partly this will be guided by your genre, but in every book there is a continual ebb and flow, with emotions, tension or action rising, and a calmer sequence following; and you can use this rise and fall to guide the descriptive writing that will be most effective at each moment.
Keep in mind, too, that detailed, elaborate descriptions can slow the action, allowing for introspection, reflection, or suspense. Brief, punchy descriptions can quicken the pace, building tension or excitement.
Think also about the five senses. Incorporating sounds, smells, tastes, and textures into the scene creates a full sensory experience, which again can be particularly effective when perceived through the senses of your characters. Describing the "crisp, salty air" of a seaside town or the "gritty, uneven pavement" underfoot can make scenes more immersive, as well as revealing something about the character who perceives them as such when placed in a larger context.
Word choice is everything in the following descriptive passage, and the atmosphere created needs no explanation:
Example: The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafón
The door gave way like a tombstone, with a sudden groan, exhaling dank, foul-smelling air. I pushed the front door inwards, discovering a corridor that sank into darkness. The place was stuffy and reeked of damp. Spiralling threads of grime and dust hung from the ceiling like white hair.
5. Consistent style and voice
Whether your story is told in first person, third person, or another perspective, align your descriptions with the style and voice of your book. A close perspective might include more personal and subjective descriptions, while a distant one might offer broader, more objective details. Compare the difference between "the sun was at its highest and most potent" (objective) and "the midday sun was brutal, unrelenting, and unwanted" (personal).
In internal monologues, have the descriptions reflect the character's manner of speaking and vocabulary. A seasoned detective might describe a room with a clinical eye for detail, while a child might focus on the colourful and unusual aspects of it.
In the following extract, the severely wounded protagonist-narrator Olav, a hired fixer for criminal bosses, is on the run:
Example: Blood on Snow by Jo Nesbo
I set off towards the car. Police sirens. They had been there the whole time. Like wolves howling in the distance around the snow-covered hills that surrounded Oslo. Rising, falling, sniffing out the scent of blood.
6. Practice subtlety
Sometimes less is more. Allow space in your descriptions for readers to use their imagination or interpret events in their own way. Suggesting rather than explicitly stating can make descriptions more engaging and the narrative more immersive. For example, "He avoided looking at the empty chair" can imply absence or loss without stating it outright.
Likewise, subtle use of recurring symbols or motifs can add depth to your descriptions and layers to your narrative, compounding a particular effect. A recurring image of a broken clock might symbolize lost time or missed opportunities, or a bird that keeps appearing to a character may indicate a desire for freedom.
Example: The Ghost Road by Pat Barker (WWI fiction)
He stared at the stars trying to locate the plough, but couldn't concentrate. Rain clouds were massing. All we need. A few minutes later a runner came back with his watch and with a tremendous sense - delusional, of course - of being in control again he strapped it on.
Then they were moving forward, hundreds of men eerily quiet, starlit shadows barely darkening the grass. And no dogs barked.
7. Revise and refine
If getting your first draft down on paper is your priority, then use the editing process to look critically at your narrative's descriptions. Ask yourself: are they necessary; do they add to the story; could they be made more effective? Consider removing anything that doesn’t serve a purpose, such as building atmosphere, setting the tone, revealing character, or advancing the plot.
There's a place for beautifully written prose, but if it's not also aligning with your narrative's voice and style, or serving your story in any way, it's unfortunately just decorative and out of place; and, as such, may not be as appreciated by readers as it is by you.
Sometimes it’s hard to gauge the effectiveness of your own descriptions, and that's where feedback can help. If you use beta readers, or writing groups or forums, ask them to pay particular attention to the descriptive pieces.
Or, alternatively, try to assess from their overall response to the book which parts are working and which might need further attention. Ironically, when description is working well, most readers won't even notice it - they'll just know they didn't want to put your book down.
Finally...
Mastering powerful prose in your novel comes down to balance and intention. It might appear at first glance to be hard work, but this is where you can get really creative with words, phrases and sentences. It's about having fun with language, and ultimately making your work unique to you.
By carefully selecting details, showing rather than telling, and crafting vivid, sensory experiences that reflect mood, voice and atmosphere, you can draw readers deeper into your story world. Remember, the goal is not just to describe, but to evoke and resonate. With practice, your descriptions can become not only powerful and compelling, but memorable.
Bonus Tip - Read short stories to observe how other writers approach description. Owing to their brevity, short stories challenge writers to hone description to a fine point in order to make it as effective as possible as quickly as possible.
Barker, P. (2008 ed.), The Ghost Road, Penguin Books, London
Golding, W. (1954), Lord of the Flies, Faber and Faber Limited, London
Nesbo, J. (2016), Blood on Snow, Vintage, London
Perry, S. (2024), Enlightenment, Vintage, London
Plath, S. (2005), The Bell Jar, Faber and Faber Limited, London
Zafón, C. R. (2004), the Shadow of the Wind, Phoenix, imprint of Orion Books Ltd, London
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Tina Williams of Fiction Yogi is a copyeditor and proofreader who works with writers at all stages, giving them the tools to improve their manuscript and level up their writing so they can meet their publishing goals.
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